By: A Schreiber
Have you met Dr. Google?
This is what I’ve been told:
You never have to leave your home
Or waste your time “on hold”
His bedside manners are the best
He’s patient and not rude
He’ll answer every question
No doctor attitude!
Why are my eyes so red? you’ll ask
Conjuctivcanceritis
Go to the nearest hospital
Or you will have a crisis
My tongue is slightly bumpy
You’ll type with shaking fingers
Lingualridgopathy
Gets worse, and often lingers
But Dr. Google, I’m still young!
Old age is far away!
Based on your height and weight and age…
Say your goodbyes today!
One minute, Dr. Google
These answers contradict
Is coffee good or bad for you?
Can green tea make you sick?
Is this condition common
Or a rare, severe disease?
Do I have signs of Covid
When all I did was sneeze?
I think I have anxiety
Your answers aren’t kind
You never, ever tell us
Don’t worry, you’re just fine!
I think that Dr. Google
Is Dr. Pessimism
No matter what, it’s urgent
That’s Hyperalarmism!
From now on, I will Google
Just simple definitions
And call a real-life pro
For all my health decisions.
Oh, and if I ever feel worn out
I know just whom to call:
Lakewood Hosts Kosher Vacation Rentals
That ought to cure it all!
The greenery sure beats green tea
In pool water, no blues!
The yellow sun’s got vitamins
So read, or swim, or snooze!
At Lakewood Hosts Kosher Vacation Rentals
Your heart rate will improve
Too high, too low? It’s perfect when
Your daily life is smooth.
And lastly, Dr. Google
I think that you yourself
Should shut off all your online stuff
Put it on a high shelf
Forget your “facts”, come and relax
At Lakewood Hosts Kosher Vacation Rentals.
Let people go to real doctors
Before they all go mental.
ADDENDUM:
“Red–leg” syndrome is a widespread infection seen in frogs, toads, and salamanders. It is recognized by the redness on the underside of the amphibian’s legs and abdomen, and is generally due to Aeromonas hydrophila, an opportunistic bacterial pathogen. However, viruses and fungi may also cause similar reddening.